HAPPY BIRTHDAY to RITA!!! went out to celebrate hers and andeline's birthday. Were at zouk, the music was not bad at the later part at night. Beginning of the night already met this werid guy who suddenly wanted to play 5 10 with me and the girls. Like please, its already damn nice we entertained you for a few games, still wanna comment so loudly to your friend who was like just right beside me. Stupid fuckers*-_-


Anyhoo, we had like 20 shots of tequila and a bottle of chivas and 2 jugs of cranberry vodka*was suppose to be 2 cups*was kinda enough to get us high...I wasn't that high but I'm sure miss rita was. ok enough said.

Rita with debbs(the necklace) and my pressie at brewwerks

Rita and ME!!!

she was almost there! haha...

Birthday girlies and I(:

On the dance floor*ok I know, can't really tell right*

Why is it that my past two conversations with him must always end like this? End up in unhappiness. I seriously dont understand. Is it me? Is it stupid to feel crappy when he has been logged on for a long time and he doesn't talk to ya until its very late, and when he does talk to you the first thing he says is need to sleep soon. Like what the hell? I was understanding enough to let ya do your things and wait to talk to ya, and the first thing ya can say to me is ya need to sleep soon? Are you hinting something? After he said that, our whole video conference went downhill. I just couldn't bring my self to smile or be happy that I was talking to him.

I do know how you fell, but telling me you can't can give full attention or commitment to one thing or person is like telling me that I'm just one of the things you shower attention to because its there and you can't give just that little extra? I wanna hide in bed and cry, but I won't. I am determined to pull through this. Its just the beginning of the journey, I know I won't give up but I'm not so sure about him.

Anyway on a different note, been shopping too much in frisco and hongkong. Very Very bad. Sale is damn good in hongkong, and shopping in frisco is like shopping heaven at your doorstep.
gonna be broke for the next few months.

Just got off the web call with him.

Don't know why but, aren't I suppose to feel happy that I got to talk to him much more to see him? Instead I feel worse. I feel that he's so far away, and maybe he's just talking to me to entertain me. Not that he's not interested but I'm not sure why it feels so crappy after putting down. Maybe he's not interested in trying long-d anymore, then again maybe its just me.

Oh well, there's nothing I can do, really. Just take it as it is. Don't wanna probe too much into who's he going out with, or whats he doing with who, cause I think knowing just makes my mind wander. I should just do my best at this whole trusting game. If anything should come out of his be it good or bad, I guess I shall just take it in good stride. But the road to where I'm going is definitely bumpy, need a monster truck to get me through this.

Morning everyone.

In San Fran now...Its a nice place(: going to meet a couple of girls to shop! Having Summer sale here.

Suppose to do a web call with him, but I got a feeling its not gonna happen. oh well.

Wondering if I should go for yoga tomorrow, to try it out. But I have this feeling that its just gonna be the same as singapore.

Anyway will check in later.

Its been long over dued, an entry I mean(: After moscow had other great flights like I did a 5day perth with kwispy and we had fun driving and staying at a bed & breaky over there, though we didn't have the time to go margret river. Subsequently had to go back for training, which was fun because it was like going back to training days with my batchmates. Made new batchmates too at the same time. 6 of us did a london together, I think it was horrifying for whoever was working with us on our 1st solo to london. Lucky for me, our chief was such a nice guy that he didn't once complain about having not 1 but 2 first solo biz class with him(: Learnt alot from him.

Anyway, he has gone off to china to start his new job. On one hand I'm happy he found his own path and own space. On the other hand, I'm sad that I don't have him beside me anymore, not physically at least.

Just got off the phone with him awhile ago, and maybe its just my over sensitivity that when he said he went out with this girl from work for dinner, I couldn't help; but feel a strange pinch in my heart. Is it because some part of me thinks he may just find someone else over there? Or is it because I am jealous that he doing late nights with people I don't know and I hate to not know whats going on. Or is it because I cannot take that he's enjoying himself more there then he was here with me. Hate the feeling, but I think so far, I've been a rather understanding partner, nv made it complusory to call me everyday, never questioned where and who he went out with. I think I can say I'm a big girl, I must learn to be mature*which totally sucks* Even when he says he misses me, I can't help but wonder if her really does from the heart or is it just a reply to me just because I said it. Probbably I think I don't want to face the reality that he may just end up with someone else over there. Maybe its time I should and start to get my heart prepared. In the mean time, tonight's the first night since he's left that I'm feeling the sadness.*Lock my self in to cry*

Night everyone.