Just got back from shishaing with girly..I really miss her..But I'm happy that she's happy. We finally agreed that we've reached a point in our life with our current partners where we are undoubtedly very very happy with. She with ben, and Me with Mr. K.

We both hope we marry them*oh shit it was suppose to be left in my head, but oh what the heck, I'm a happy lil girl*:)))) Well, at least I know I cannot imagine not having K beside me. He's the best thing thats ever happen to me since my slew of half fuck CMI men. I love him for who he is, his ability to listen, to make everything feel better when you're having the crummiest of days. Its like girly and I never actually thought we would or rather could find and experience love this way. You know when you have given so much time, tears, effort with soemone who takes you for granted it starts to make the idea of being able to find love like what we have now seem almost impossible, like going to the moon, you know its there, you know somehow or rather someone would invent this craft which could eventually take mankind to the moon, but when? But with K, he was able to bring the moon to me, everytime we talk, it feels like we're going on our first date, its the kind of love where only when you've experienced it for yourself then you would know what I'm talking about.

Its not just I love you you love me, its the understanding you have for each other, its when you dont have to talk to know what he's goin to say or do,. Some people say you'll never know if he's the right one for you, even after marriage, but what if I do feel that he's the one for me? Nothing you say would make me think differently, or question my feelings. I Love him, and thats all. :))

I Think its just me.

Hmm..I think its just me right? That I have to admit that I feel this tad bit of jealousy that my partner is more happening than me, in terms of how well connected he is with people. Like every other girl leaves comments on his wall, or he leaves comments on their wall? I feel this tuggin feelin inside, and I think I have to admit, I think I'm that tad bit jealous that he's in connection with so many other girls. Please dont give me the lecture about oh you dont trust him thats why I feel this way, or oh he's already yours so I should be happy that I'm the one who has him theory. It doesn't work on me, and I AM happy that I'm the one who has him.

Thing is, I trust him 100%, but maybe its just the thought that if 1 day we aren't together anymore, he would have sooo many other ''options''. Its ridiculous to think that way, but hey, I can't help it.I think I'd just have to get over it, get over the fact that my partner is just very friendly, but I think it will take me abit of work to work out this kink.

Or maybe I have this hidden phobia about guys with many girl pal contacts, cause I've seen too many situations with my friends partner being so ''connected'' with his girl pals, that in the end the guy runs off with one of em'. Irony is, I know he's not one of those assholes but you know, I dont know why I never fail to feel this way, and I hate feeling this way, it sucks, cause it gets me so irritated, so ARGH...than after awhile I feel so silly. Or maybe I still am not used to him always being online to write on walls? HAHA.Perhaps.

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!