Never felt so crummy about my work before. I want to leave. Can I continue to service stupid ridiculous humans? I might have answered ethusiastically 'yes' before, but now, I'm unsure why, but its eating me up from the inside. Flight back was horrible today, not sure whether if I was distracted or I just don't have the heart for this job anymore. This is a great job, honestly, but personally, I don't know how much long I can brush retardivity*I know its not a word, but you catch my drift* aside. I used to be able to nonchalantly brush stupid people aside, but its getting to me. Its like any more stupid people and I'm close to running them over with a tractor, wringing out their brains, strewn out on the pavement, that with each cut of the blade, they will remember that stupidity kills and how much they regret not thinking before reacting or talking.

I mean I must agree that at time its my bad, and I take responsibility for it. But other times, I mean we're human. I'm sorry if I have so many things on my mind that I have to remind myself of, and the matter slipped my mind. Does TV mean so much to you, brainless TV makes you retarded, makes you shortwired. I'm sorry if people now adays in general have no fucking patience or understanding. It makes me sick, makes me wanna cry for humanity and what the society has done to them.

I feel like I'm sitting on a chair on a cloud, floating,my vision from my key board feel like its miles away from me, my heart is thumping so hard yet calmly, my mind's in a whirl, entertaining the thought that maybe its just me, that I suck at my job. Or is it that I can no longer take it anymore, which is the reason why my mind and body is reacting.I need to find my peace again. I need my yoga. I feel like lying in bed, imagining myself on a faraway island, never to return to this god-help me place.

When I was a young girl I used to seek pleasure
When I was a young girl I used to drink ale
Out of the ale house down into the jail house
My body's salvating and hell is my doom

Come mama come papa and sit you down by me
Come sit you down by me and pity my case
My poor head is achin' my sad heart is breakin'
My body's salvating and hell is my doom

Please send for the preacher to come and pray for me
And send for the doctor to heal all my wounds
My poor head is achin' my sad heart is breakin'
My body's salvating and I'm bound to die

One morning one morning one morning in May
I saw this young lady all wrapped in white linen
All wrapped in white linen and call out the plague
Someone help me.
-Feist

I feel like crying but yet my eyes can't seem to tear. I want to learn how to cry again. Has my heart turned so cold and hard there's no turning back?

Help me. Namaste.